Monday, January 4, 2016

Fighting Through Afraid

Hi. It's been almost thirteen months since I last wrote, but it's time. It's past time.

I felt like I was finding my voice by late 2014. I had written some posts I really liked, and received some feedback from friends and strangers that gave me the courage to keep going. I felt like I was finally going to start writing about the stuff that really mattered, but then I froze. I was afraid. When it came right down to it, a lot of the "stuff that really mattered" that was happening to our family, wasn't truly my story to tell. And once I stopped, it just felt impossible to start again. Fear simply took over.
So, while I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, I am a firm believer if fresh starts. So this is mine.

Late 2014 and most of 2015 brought us a lot of personal and family challenges, but also a lot of happiness. In addition to the hard stuff, we had an engagement, a wedding, and a baby (three different family members), a new furry addition to our family, a study abroad experience, and probably most notable to my five, a new home. We're not exactly sure how it happened, but our happily ever after snuck (sneaked if we're being proper) up on us and we bought an historic old home that has finally brought us back to New England. For now it's for summer-time and whenever else we can make it work, but it will be our forever home in 5 or 6 years.

While I share those stories over the next few weeks and months, I will also try my hardest to be brave enough to share my stories about bullying, leaving adult friendships, helping people you love through depression and anxiety, readjusting expectations for your children, the heart-breaking journey of watching a parent age, and finding my place in this world.  I'm not sure I'll figure out the last one any time soon.

In the meantime, 2016 will bring our extended family a 25th wedding anniversary (ours), a new baby boy, a college graduation, a youngest child's 16th birthday, a 50th birthday (mine) and a wedding, plus all of the stuff that we can't even imagine yet!

Whatever else the year may bring, it certainly won't be boring. Here's to a new beginning. I can't say I'm not afraid, because I am. But I'm going to push through it.