Eleven Days and Humble Thanks

My boy leaves for college in 11 days. He graduates from high school in two. I'd like to stop time, but I know that would only be for my benefit, not his. His face lights up these days at the thought of what lies ahead. I'm so proud of the man he's becoming.

Cole's graduation party was a big success! Lots of great food, friends and family. 

I think the highlight of the day for Cole was a surprise visit from the town ice cream man. There is only one ice cream truck in town, and all of the kids have known Slobie since they were little. It was a big hit, with everyone. Cole even got to spend some time in the truck.

My favorite part of the day came later when Cole, his uncle and his friends sat around the fire pit playing guitars and singing. He sang Rocky Mountain High, which gets me every time (more on that here). It was a memorable day.

Monday night was Baccalaureate. What a beautiful evening.  Great performances and great speakers.

Late Monday night, I was browsing through Twitter and saw a tweet from Cole. I typically hold my breath when reading Twitter, because Cole has been known to tweet some "heat of the moment" things that I'd love to leap into cyberspace and erase, but that night was different. He had tweeted out enormous praise to a girl at school that he barely knows. She had gotten up and read a long poem at Baccalaureate about some of the struggles she's had in high school and what it all meant going forward. My heart was full. 

And my heart if full of humble thanks this morning to Sarah at Clover Lane. I have a guest post today as part of her Coming Home series. You can read it here. Sarah's blog is my absolute favorite, and reading it gave me the courage to start my own. I was honored when she asked me to participate. Thank you, Sarah!

Denise

Don't Forget to Breathe

So... it's been a week since my last blog post.

 I started to feel overwhelmed thinking that some of my ideas for posts might not make for good reading. And then I froze. Talked myself right out of writing for an entire week. I do that sometimes. Make something small into something huge in my mind. It grows and grows, and then I forget to breathe.

"Don't forget to breathe" is a phrase I'm very familiar with these days.  I hear it over and over while working out with Vinny, my amazing and ever-patient trainer. He met me a year and half ago when I began working out for the first time in my entire life at age 46. Apparently, when a particular exercise gets too difficult for me, I hold my breath. Still. So a constant refrain of "don't forget to breathe" follows me around the gym (more on my fitness and health odyssey very soon. There will be a few good laughs in that story).

 If only I had a "life trainer" reminding me to breathe when things get tricky in real life.

Link

And then today, I just decided that whether or not what I write is stellar, it is still more than I was writing three weeks ago. And the hilarious part of all this worry is that hardly anyone in the world even knows this blog exists. I think five people (one being my niece) have seen it so far. But those of you that have seen it, have been so kind and complimentary, and I didn't want to let you down. If we're going to have this relationship, you may as well know that I worry far too much about what other people think. I'm working on it. My goal was to break myself of this habit by the time I turned forty. My new goal is fifty. We'll see how that goes.

So for today, I just really needed to get this off my chest. For today, this is enough.

  Lots more posts brewing on the topics of decluttering, overindulged versus spoiled children (and I think there's a big difference), mean girls of the teen and grown-up varieties, my amazing book club women, my favorite place on earth (hint: bottom left hand corner of my banner), my absolute love of NPR and specifically Ira Glass, and solo travel (a gift everyone should give themselves at least once in a while).

So while I figure out the best time to get all of those thoughts in print, I'm going to try to not be so hard on myself.

And if your day isn't turning out exactly as planned, or the kids are sick, or it's snowing (again) where you live, or you're just second-guessing yourself, just remember --  don't forget to breathe.

Denise

Here Goes...Explaining The Road From October

I've been meaning to start this blog for a long time now. In fact, I did start one in September of 2012, when my oldest, Katie, left for college, but it just wasn't the right time. So I set a new goal -- October 2013. Yes, I do realize today is February 15, 2014. So you've learned something about me already. I am filled with good intentions, big plans and lofty goals. Sometimes I hit them, sometimes I don't. Let me explain...

In our house,  the "rule" is that all college applications must be completed and submitted by October 1st of your senior year. I didn't come up with this on my own. Someone very wise gave me this advice. If I could remember who it was, I would give them complete credit here and now, but my 47 year old brain cannot recall this important detail. This "rule" turned out to be the best rule I ever made. In 2011, when Katie was applying to schools, she was a procrastinator. We have an amazing relationship, but it was put to the test by the college application process. By insisting that all applications be done by October 1st, we knew that the stress (and bickering) that we both felt would all be behind us, and she could get on with the fun parts of her senior year. It worked beautifully and I'd highly recommend it.

This is where all of Katie's hard work led her

Enter child number two. This fall it was Cole's turn to submit his college applications. We implemented the same rule, for all of the same reasons, and it worked like a charm once again. Cole actually finished all of his applications on September 28th (just to beat his sister, I'm sure). At the same time, I set a secret deadline of October 1st  for myself too. I had been struggling with the feeling that I was less needed than ever, and wondering where my path would lead me next. I decided that it was time to restart (or really, start) my blog. I've been writing for years, but only for myself. I've gathered a collection of essays that have been for my eyes only.

I didn't make my October 1st goal, for many reasons, but I did start...today. The Road From October symbolizes my path forward now that two of my babies are firmly headed down their own fabulous paths. I do know I'm still needed more than ever by all of them (Abbey is 13 and we have lots of busy years still ahead of us),  but I'm needed in different ways, and there is room now for me to also explore additional avenues for my time and talents. Being brave enough to take those steps is harder than I thought. But I will take the first step today by hitting publish. Nothing looks pretty or organized or professional yet. It is bare bones. I will figure it out as I go along. If I felt the whole blog had to look perfect on day one, it would be next October before a single word was written.

The best work of my life

Thank you to the blogs and bloggers that inspired me to do this. They are a very diverse group and I gain something different from reading each one. They each touch a different part of me, and I always look forward to their posts. I will talk more about each of them in a future post.  If I can figure out how to link them here, I will:

Clover Lane, So Wonderful, So Marvelous, views from my kitchen sink, 71 Toes, Lisa Belkin, Closet Cooking
Wow! I did it!

Thanks for reading. See you soon.

Denise